Friday, March 6, 2009

The Vicious Cycle of Abuse

Yesterday, Chris Brown was arraigned for assault and making threats against Rihanna - that wasn't a shock. But what seems to be a shock with most folks (especially in the Media) is that Rihanna apparently took Christ Brown back.

Can I just say this wasn't a surprise to this blogger. One in four women is abused in this country in less than a minute and most stay in those relationships regardless of their status. So why is it a shock to the Media Rihanna is doing the unthinkable by not pressing charges and wanting Chris Brown back?

Now some folks in the media are using this relationship (which is a picture of thousands of relationships) as a way to question Rihanna's judgment especially after the horrific details of the abuse was released. I wish they (the Media) took the time to really focus their attention to many without a voice or recognized face like Rihanna. Rihanna is a celebrity who happened to show what millions of women are dealing with everyday. I wonder how many times members of the Media have looked the other way when a woman with bruises in their neighborhood seeking domestic shelters was not highlighted because it wasn't the "Juice" of the day.

Here's what I know for sure: Unless a woman finds a place in herself to know she deserves more than some flashes of affection from her boyfriend, fiance, or husband, she will keep staying in the emotional, mental, or physical abusive relationship regardless of how many people tells her to get out. I've seen the scenarios play out on a college campus, in my former place of work, and with a few friends.

Another thing I know for sure is that men need to take domestic violence more seriously because that could be their daughter, sister, aunt, or mother someday. Just like some whites had to sacrifice their lives for the cause of civil rights, men have to put these guys in check and stand up against violence against women. I'm yet to see a man wear a T-Shirt for V-Day (a day to stand against violence against women). Can you imagine what a powerful sight that will be?

Not all men are guilty of this; some men have highlighted this case on their show (i.e. Tom Joyner and Michael Baisden) and shown their outright disapproval and I say kudos to them. But you have a guy like Sean "Diddy" Combs lend his Miami home (reportedly) to Chris Brown and Rihanna for some "R & R" - WHY??? You have Usher say something honest in an off-the-cuff moment reprimanding Chris Brown for jet skiing in Miami last week only to retract his statement with a weak politically correct statement "to wish all parties all the best." ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?

I wonder how many Pastors who are overwhelmingly men would do the bold thing and start preaching against this horror from their pulpits instead of relegating it to a "private" counseling session where the woman feels guilty to return to the house of torment.

Until these solutions start happening, we'll continue seeing these cases and some that will lead to deaths; and that is what I know for sure.