Richard Jefferson's Foul Play

I'm an NBA fan (as followers of this blog know) but I wouldn't have thought during the off-season, many players (literally and figuritively speaking) would have much action going on off-the- court.

The news story that broke a couple of days ago was former New Jersey Nets and newly acquired San-Antonio Spurs player called a time-out on his $2 million wedding two hours before event. I remember thinking how did he break it off with the girl? Were both of them cool with it that the marriage wasn't going to work out? Then I thought, ok this doesn't go well with the "gay rumors" that have plagued Jefferson for a few seasons. In the words of "Seinfeld" - not that there's anything wrong with that! (Being gay that is)

Only to find out today, that this Negro broke up with the fiancee via e-mail 48 hours before the wedding but didn't tell his folks who were on their way to the wedding till two hours before the event. Now I cry FOUL to that move. I won't call him a punk, but that was a "punkish" move.

Let me go all Carrie on you from Sex and The City for a minute: When you become of age as a man, you need to learn the rules of the breakup. You need to learn how to be what's the word I'm looking for . . . CLASSY! Show that the person you were involved with (not to talk of about to marry) means something more to you than just a cheap thrill. And that means you don't break up with the girl with a phone, a stand off, an E-MAIL, text, or a "post-it" note. Get it?

And the nerve for you to buy her off (which you said wasn't so) with a "Six-figure settlement" afterwards when the news broke for her to "move on" is more CLASSLESS - what is she ? A high-priced hooker? Do these brothers think? Your defense was she's still one of your best friends. Huh! Gosh, I hate to think how you treat your enemies, if that was a "best friends" action.

In closing, my memo to you is to get your head together for yourself. Go see some therapist or something and learn why a 29-year old (ok, that's a year too young in my books to consider marriage for a guy) still doesn't know who he is - gay or straight.

Tag: Richard Jefferson calls off wedding

Give It Up for Jenny Sanford

It's been a while since I gave my "Kudos" to a very impressive person. My kudos for someone who's fascinated me over the last week is Jenny Sanford, the First Lady of South Carolina. Ok, I know Michael Jackson's death has overshadowed most news. Like Stephen Colbert satirized last night, this is the best time to do something bad and get away with it since the whole Media is concerned about the King of Pop.

Colbert went on to say the only mistake the Governor of South Carolina made wasn't the affair but that he confessed about the so-called affair that had everyone looking for him for days a day before the big news - MICHAEL JACKSON DIES. Anyhoo, I don't care about Sanford's affair (if you've read this blog long enough), I do think he was stupid for not leaving the state in capable hands and let the staff know where he was going. But I digressed.

As I was saying I am so impressed with the better half of the couple who had some sense; Jenny Sanford. Can I just say to Jenny: THANK YOU FOR NOT STANDING BY YOUR MAN (In the literal sense) as if you had something to be ashamed of or to "support" him in his moment(s) of indiscretion. Thank you for releasing that mind-blowing statement to show you are in the words of Maya Angelou "a phenomenal woman" and that you have such a self-worth about who you are and for your sons to see as an example that you refused to play the victim. I mean the woman was out bike riding a few days ago when reporters asked her about her "husband's career" when she said that was the least of her concerns. What! Can "Glamour" have Jenny as a nominee for their "Women of The Year?" She got my vote!


Tags: Jenny Sanford, Infidelity

Women Sizing Other Women

Another thing on my mind: It's about the fairer sex, my counterparts - WOMEN. I was rushing into my office building a couple of days ago and there must have been some meetings and conference sessions going on because some folks were coming out all dressed to the professionial "nines" and they weren't familiar faces I see everyday.

Anyway, as I got closer to the double doors one particular woman, standing close to the doorway old enough to be an Aunt looked at me up and down, up and down as I took my long strides towards the building. I wondered what I did to this woman but I wasn't shocked - it wasn't the first time and as I live, it wouldn't be the last.

I've seen it and I've heard other lady friends complain to me about it in the professional and personal world. Some of these women are so insecure, that another woman who just happens to look good is seen as a threat. Pardon me for not looking dowdy to make you feel good about yourself. Pardon me for having enough self-confidence that is not based on how I look but being Who's I am and the experiences that have shaped me not to walk with my head down so you'll feel superior.

It is ridiculous. I'll give guys this: You never see a guy eye another new kid on the block and wonder "what's wrong with him looking all GQ?" They will ask in a minute (especially if the guy is getting some play from the ladies) where he shops or for some help with their wardrobe.

Not so with most women. And I say "most" because not all women are always hating. In the same week (last Sunday to be exact), I walked into a gas station I've visited a few times to fill my tank and get some beverage. After I paid, the lady attendant wanted to know if I was in her words: "from around here." I asked why she asked. She said, "I've been thinking from the times you've walked in, she must be from New York or some place." I laughed and told her it wasn't the first time I heard that even though I've been living in South Florida over 10 years. Then she asked "are you a Model?"I really laughed at that and told her I hate cameras or having my picture taken. There was no guile in her observation but she just offer a sincere compliment about my style and I thanked her. Now is that so hard.

I do the same with other women. I think envy or jealousy is really draining. And if you're secure in who you are, another person's beauty, style, accomplishment, man, children, stuff wouldn't make you less of who you are. All the aforementioned is not limited to a few people. Hel-lo, beauty is truly in the eye of beholder. And women should stop having the crab mentality to pull other women down so all of them don't get ahead because they failed to see the value in each of their own lives.

Is It Ok To Stash Some Cash?

I caught this story early this morning about the dentist who stashed some cash ($800K) from hubby only for the bank to reveal her personal account to the hubby and now the dentist is suing the bank. I've been wondering why that is such a tricky subject when it comes to women.

Now granted, I'm not married yet but a few years ago I was hanging out with some friends (single) and they were talking about going "joint," "separate," or joint and separate when it came to the money between couples. I discretely kept quiet (which was already a sign to these friends), "so what about you Mo?" Me: "What?" as if I didn't hear it the first time. One of the friends repeated the question. I gave a long (to them) pause. Me: Mmm.

They laughed because I normally have an opinion on most things. You'll know where I stand on black and white (figuratively speaking) issues. There are very minimal shades of grey when it comes to how I see things but I was left stumped. "I don't know . . . it will really have to depend on the guy." I didn't fool most of my friends on that response - one noted my gift of dance just came into play by me "dancing" on that issue. I just laughed it off.

I think money is a very touchy subject. You can tell a lot about a person by how he or she handles their dough. As one person once said: Money just exaggerates what you already are. If you're stingy when you're poor or broke, you'll be stingy when you get's some dough. And the reverse is true.

In this situation, I don't blame the woman (the dentist) all the way (she deserves some blame), there's something going on in that marriage that she felt she couldn't trust her husband to such info. And after the bank revealed her secret, she had to give the husband $155K to "save her marriage and restore order into her marital home." Huh? Ok, that tells me all I needed to know.

So ladies (and gentlemen), the floor is up to you: Do you feel it's ok to stash some cash? Or to reveal everything to your hubby or significant other? Spill . . . enquiring minds want to know.

Stop The Bullying

There is a disturbing trend going on in our schools and that is bullying students for looking, acting or being gay which has caused death in the hands of the perpertrators or the victims themselves by committing suicides.

I just don't get it, in both cases shown here the parents sought help but nothing was done. It seems the schools even with their "anti-bullying laws" don't have a strict way of dealing with bullies. Think about it, if a victim was been bullied for his race, there will be a serious "hate" outcry against the bullies but what about for those of a different sexual orientation.

Or they are not even gays, but these bullies just terrorize their victims for being "different" like the African-American kid Carl Walker was a boy scout, helped out at his church and dreamt of being President some day. All that snuffed out when the 11-year old boy couldn't take the bullying anymore.

The story was no different for Jaheem Herrara - a U.S. Virgin Islands native in school in Tennesse who was tormented daily with anti-gay slurs even though he wasn't gay (but so what if he was). His Mom complained to CNN's Anderson Cooper last night that the school did nothing. Now the mother has pulled her other children from U.S. Schools to relocate to her native home in St. Croix.

Something needs to be done. There's a great website dedicated to this issue called "Stop The Bulling Now." But all of us share a responsibility to break this silence because that could be our nephew, cousin, brother, or son. Let's kick these bullies out - lives are dependent on it.

Tags: Bullying

I Propose To You . . . With A Fake Ring

Every now and then I come up on a story that makes me think of how I'll react in the same situation and blog about it here. One such story I read was: In this time of recession, more men are proposing with (gasp) Cubic Zirconia. Ok hold up! Has it got that bad now, that one of the most poignant parts of one's life - being proposed to has to be signaled with a fake (ok, imitation) ring?

Most friends of mine will tell you I'm not impressed by flash. I admit it takes a lot more to impress me. And I don't think you need to bankrupt yourself with an engagement or wedding when you need to think more about the marriage. But come on! This is hard to stomach; if you truly love someone, you will sacrifice and get a proper engagement ring. I don't care if it is a half or one carat you can afford. Get the real thing dammit!

I'm just saying . . .it reminded me of a peculiar family situation over a year ago. Somebody I know well proposed to a girl he's been seeing. So when I ask him, how was the ring? He told me he didn't give her a ring right then but wanted her to know she's the one. You know I took a semester of "Logics" in college and I think for an already extremely "logical" person like me, it makes me really confused when someone doesn't make sense.

You see, logics tell you, "if this condition, then that result." If you propose based on the love you have for her (the condition), the result should be a ring. And oh I made my point clear to this family culprit I love dearly . I was like "scuse me."He repeated what he said (I heard him the first time just wanted to be sure) Then I ask, why he proposed. "Because I love her" he said. "Will the love change in six months or more to save to buy a ring?" I asked. He got testy -"You know what Mo, not every girl is like you" (strike one). "That is for damn certain " I retorted (I can give it just as I take it.)

I've thought about that exchange after I read this article and though I may not agree (all the way) with the way my family member handled his proposal, I hold him in high regard because at least he chose to wait to give his fiancee the real thing instead of a replica.

I propose this question to the readers: Is it okay to propose with a fake ring (and may be wait for the real thing later) or wait and buy the real thing then propose?

Tags: Proposal, Engagement

What Ever Happened To Calling?

I've wanted to blog about this particular musing for a couple of weeks and it is directed to our male counterparts. So here I was stumbling out of my place of work late one night to get home and crash. I flipped open my cell phone to turn on my usual silent ringer while at work when I noticed I had a text message.

The number from the text message was blocked but it was from some guy I don't know who said he got my number from somebody I knew and saying "I bet you can't guess who I am . . ." (No Negro or whoever you are, because you have your number blocked and this is not the first way to communicate with me if I DON'T KNOW YOU). Then this guy had the audacity to say on text to check him out online with his profile address.

"What the . . ." That's how I felt and I thought to myself what makes this joker think I'll be interested in him and he's starting on a bad note when he is telling me to check him out - BOY! And I use the term "boy" intentionally because though through this nameless guy profile address, I could see the guy was IN HIS 30s due to the smarty pants putting his birth year in the address. Seriously, when do you grow up to be a man and put away childish things?

It shouldn't surprise anyone that I never checked the profile - I AM NOT INTERESTED! But if I ever was, this guy would never get such intrigue from a person like me. You don't text a girl you want to get to know, you use text messaging as an extra incentive (not the MAIN SOURCE) for communication.

For example guys: Using a text to set a date (especially in the first stage of a getting to know you) - WRONG! Using a text after you've been on a date and just to drop a quick note you had a good time - CUTE! THUMBS UP!

Gosh! Whatever happened to chivalry. You know being the gentleman, doing something in a proper way like opening the door and not letting it slam in a girl's face as she walks behind you, oh this word called "etiquette." You are smart for doing so.

And going back to the "texting boy," as it ever occured to him there is an appeal when a girl hears a guy's voice. Perhaps I might think does he have an aversion to the phone because he has oh let's see a "Michael Jackson" type of voice - thumbs down unless you're singing. And I'm not saying you need to have a "Barry White" type of voice - though kudos if you do. Then I'll have to ask myself if he has that kind of voice because he has a face for radio. I'm just saying . . . But let me figure that out for myself.

In the meantime guys, go back to a simpler time. Understand that though we are modern girls, a lot of us still have vintage souls. Rediscover this genius invention by Alexander Graham Bell called the phone, it is still a very cool tool. Then from the phone, we can decide if we want to see you face to face, better yet, that's when you use this extra tool called the text - send us your picture so we don't get rude awakening. After the meeting, then you can text with a cute thought - we get to see another side of you. Now it's that so hard . . .

Another Man Lays Hands

There are times I wish I wasn't proven right especially when I shed light to things like domestic abuse others don't want to talk about. I wrote about the Chris and Rihanna drama over a week ago and I called to carpet men for staying silent and Preachers (overwhelming men) who deal with this matter as hush-hush.

So imagine seeing it as ironic exactly a week after I wrote about the above, hearing one of my favorite gospel artists, Bebe Winans was charged with assault on his ex-wife.

As I left my church service this afternoon, the song "I'm lost without you" by Bebe and Cece was playing on my radio, and I must admit it didn't do anything for me because I was reminded about the cloud of an alleged domestic assault surrounding Bebe.

Now I'm not saying because he's a Gospel artist, he's any different from Chris Brown; he's STILL A MAN. Hence the reason I have a problem with preachers who choose to stay silent and rappers who support their boys to the point of one of them opening his mansion (Hi Diddy).

I'm begging these guys to get professional help. To find the source of their anger and not use any woman as a scapegoat for their issues. I'm also begging guys who swear they won't hit any woman but choose to remain silent and support their friends who do. Your silence is DEAFENING! And in this case, your silence is not golden - IT IS JUST PLAIN YELLOW.

Tag: Domestic Abuse

The Vicious Cycle of Abuse

Yesterday, Chris Brown was arraigned for assault and making threats against Rihanna - that wasn't a shock. But what seems to be a shock with most folks (especially in the Media) is that Rihanna apparently took Christ Brown back.

Can I just say this wasn't a surprise to this blogger. One in four women is abused in this country in less than a minute and most stay in those relationships regardless of their status. So why is it a shock to the Media Rihanna is doing the unthinkable by not pressing charges and wanting Chris Brown back?

Now some folks in the media are using this relationship (which is a picture of thousands of relationships) as a way to question Rihanna's judgment especially after the horrific details of the abuse was released. I wish they (the Media) took the time to really focus their attention to many without a voice or recognized face like Rihanna. Rihanna is a celebrity who happened to show what millions of women are dealing with everyday. I wonder how many times members of the Media have looked the other way when a woman with bruises in their neighborhood seeking domestic shelters was not highlighted because it wasn't the "Juice" of the day.

Here's what I know for sure: Unless a woman finds a place in herself to know she deserves more than some flashes of affection from her boyfriend, fiance, or husband, she will keep staying in the emotional, mental, or physical abusive relationship regardless of how many people tells her to get out. I've seen the scenarios play out on a college campus, in my former place of work, and with a few friends.

Another thing I know for sure is that men need to take domestic violence more seriously because that could be their daughter, sister, aunt, or mother someday. Just like some whites had to sacrifice their lives for the cause of civil rights, men have to put these guys in check and stand up against violence against women. I'm yet to see a man wear a T-Shirt for V-Day (a day to stand against violence against women). Can you imagine what a powerful sight that will be?

Not all men are guilty of this; some men have highlighted this case on their show (i.e. Tom Joyner and Michael Baisden) and shown their outright disapproval and I say kudos to them. But you have a guy like Sean "Diddy" Combs lend his Miami home (reportedly) to Chris Brown and Rihanna for some "R & R" - WHY??? You have Usher say something honest in an off-the-cuff moment reprimanding Chris Brown for jet skiing in Miami last week only to retract his statement with a weak politically correct statement "to wish all parties all the best." ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?

I wonder how many Pastors who are overwhelmingly men would do the bold thing and start preaching against this horror from their pulpits instead of relegating it to a "private" counseling session where the woman feels guilty to return to the house of torment.

Until these solutions start happening, we'll continue seeing these cases and some that will lead to deaths; and that is what I know for sure.

Jungle Fever, Jungle Love?

Colleague: "So Mo, would you ever date a white guy?"
AAW: "If the guy is as cool as Jon B. or has the soul of Michael McDonald I'll date him. You?"
Colleague: "Do I have to go out (literally) with her?"
AAW: " That's not nice . . ." He shrugged.

That was 10 years ago as a young college student when I first had the conversation about interracial relationships with a colleague struggling to have me "pegged." He was the type of guy who really wanted to figure out my "blackness" and because I said I had no race preference in my dating relationships, he made it known I'll end up with a white guy. Well his bet is still lingering and I still hold the same principles. I'm like Chris Rock on interracial dating: "brothers have been using their equal rights for years, what are sisters waiting on?"

But a certain brother (Joseph Williams) at the Boston Globe still has an issue with catching the jungle fever in a recent piece. Seriously! How long do we need to keep having this discussion? But calculating his age (about 46), he's of a different mindset than many of my peers. On my college campus, interracial dating was so prevalent that a couple of my friends who transferred from another state university told me they've never seen anything like it - a bit of culture shock for them. I digress.

Back to this buzz-generating column, the writer asked these questions: Is an attraction to a white woman a form of racial self-hatred? If I flirt with her, does it mean I've rejected my African-American sisters? Answer: To the former, No; It just means you're not totally free yet to think dating a person of an outside race means you don't like yourself. And to the latter (eye rolling), I say PUH-LEAZE get a grip!

How ridiculous does that (second question) sound? Just because I find "McSteamy" (Eric Dane) drop-dead gorgeous doesn't mean I won't melt if I see the hot chocolate Morris Chesnut - I'm just saying. I appreciate beauty and rugged good looks any form it comes. So if I pick a real-life version of McSteamy, it doesn't mean I reject my African-American brothers. And if I date a prototype of Chesnut, it doesn't mean I'm proving my "blackness."

Could it be I find something in common with a person regardless of race? Perhaps his faith, intelligence, wit or humor? It is quite simple; too bad this writer (Williams) should make it complicated by talking about "echoes of history impossible for him to ignore." I say life is just too short.

Tag: Interracial relationships

Ed Young's 7 Days of Sex Challenge

I've wanted to give my two cents on the hoopla on Rev. Ed Young's sex challenge but other stuff was more in the forefront of my mind until this morning when I saw Young and his wife on TV (again)about what they gained since Young issued the mandate to the married congregants in his church. Newsflash: They could only hold up to six days of the challenge (so to speak).

If you've been a consistent reader of this blog, you can peep I'm a person of faith even though I don't wear my faith on my sleeves. And besides, this is not a "faith" blog but all (or most) things I have an opinion about. So when I heard Young's mandate last week, I imagined myself in Ed Young's church and what would have been my reaction to this juicy news.

Well, in my current stage in life (single), my first reaction would have been "why do marriage folks get to have all the fun!" Then I would have thought why couldn't Young tell the married folks this piece of news at a marriage seminar somewhere. Lastly, I wondered how the singles in the congregation must have felt; what did Young say to them while their married counterparts are planning to go on this "sexcapade" - keep hope alive, your prince/queen is coming. I'm just saying . . .

But I digress. The secular (mainstream) world found this piece of news "shocking" as one to be taught from the so-called pulpit. So Young and a few others Ministers of various faiths (I saw a Rabbi talking about this over the weekend) have had their say. Here's my take: I'm all for the idea. Sometimes, the subject of sex and sensuality have been seen as taboo subjects when the Bible CLEARLY talks about them. Anybody read Songs of Solomon lately? You'll have to do a double-take and check the back of your "Bible" just to be sure it's still the Bible and not an Harlequin novel.

Besides, it's great for Young to open up the minds of folks to see sex is not just for procreation (as I had a heated debate with some "deep" folks some years ago) but also (first) for pleasure. And that's my take . . . what's yours? (love to see your comments)

Tags: Ed Young, 7 Day Sex Challenge

Operation Black Friend

I must admit when I saw the heading "Will You Be My Black Friend?" in a recent (next month's) GQ Magazine, I knew it was to get people's attention and it worked, I decided to read the article.
There were moments of reflection, rolling-of-the-eyes and afterwards, that of understanding. This writer (Devin Friedman) decided to pose this question on "Craigslist" which got some hilarious actions and rightfully so, most folks thought he was pulling a stunt. But for me, I read this article because I remembered a discussion I had with someone who's like brother-in-law (he married into the family to a cousin of mine) during the last 4th of July weekend. I'll call him "J."

J has friends of various ethnicities (as do I) and he was trying to set me up with at least one of them. I don't know what it is about newlyweds who think everybody have to get married right away. But I digress. The pictures of some of his guy friends led to a discussion about race. J told me one of the things he despises is when some white guys are relating to each other in a normal way, only to get to him at work (or social functions) then try to appeal to his black side by being how can I say this, "urban."

Friedman's article reminded me of that conversation as he debated within himself and his wife on how to relate to "black people" or to be politically correct, African-American folks. They even thought of what to wear to a party while his wife said she never saw a black woman dressing like a "Tomboy." Gosh, these folks were really out-of-the-loop. Black women have different styles; what makes white women think we are a monolithic group?

But in the end, he found out that black people are just normal after all and it's not like a "9/11 Commission." We're not going to interrogate you to death or you need a 100-page book to understand us. It ain't that serious. But just for pointers (because I know I have readers of all backgrounds), here is how you can start your own "Operation Black Friend:"

1. Be Yourself: If you've never greeted your white counterparts with "what's cracking," "What up" among other lingos, don't try that with a black person; he/she will see right through it. A simple "hello" or "hi" will be just fine. The same goes with hugs. Don't start now with being cool. If you don't get how black guys give each other hugs, a simple handshake will do. But if you're the "blue-eyed soul brother" (think Jon B., Robin Thicke and for old schoolers, Michael McDonald), you should know how to just "relate."


2. Hair Matters: As the writer found out, don't be asking us if you could touch our hair when we don't know you like that. The last sentence was a bit urban. So here it is in Queen English speak: You have to be a FRIEND already (and give it about six months to a year) to feel our hair. We know we have different texture of hair than white folks but don't look at the hair when we have a different hairstyle than the ones you're used to seeing us as if it was some alien object. Just compliment it and say "nice hairdo" and move on.


3. Easy on Race Conversations: Don't think every time you get with us, you have to get in a conversation about race. It is even draining for us. We don't talk about the "trials and tribulations of the black men" all the time. Black people like pop-culture just like white folks. We like Jon Stewart, Steven Colbert and for ladies (and some black men who won't admit to it), we love "Sex And The City." Just be well-informed BUT it won't hurt if you've caught up on some "In Livin Color."
4. Drop the Stereotypes: When you meet a black person, let the person be an individual starting from a clean slate. Don't EVER assume because that "assume" theory is true; you make ASS-U-ME. Not all black people eat chicken (well, that's open to debate), some are vegetarians or as Tyler Perry said once, some of us do eat "salmon." We don't all look alike and we don't dress alike. We don't all like hip-hop. I had a black college roommate once who thought R&B music was boring and only listened to Heavy-metal rock (but I teased her a few years she spent at an Iowa college took away her black card). Trust us, some of us like Bon Jovi, Aerosmith, etc. The aforementioned singers Jon B., Thicke, McDonald don't count as WHITE MUSIC. So is Hall & Oates or the Average White Band. Honorable mention: Justin Timberlake (we still have mixed feelings about him after the whole Janet "wardrobe malfunction" thing).

So those are a few pointers I can think of right now but they should help with expanding your horizon on your mission of "operation black friend."

Tags: Will You Be My Black Friend?, GQ Magazine, Devin Friedman, Operation Black Friend

Things I Don't Get - Relationship Edition

Taking a break from politics, I’m going to revisit my most popular segment from a previous blog I owned about my musings but with a new spin. These are things I don’t get in relationships:

I don’t get when a guy starts a sentence with: “You know I love you. . .” Let me use this as a PSA: Girl, brace yourself because the next sentences after "you know I love you" will not be good. Why don’t guys just go into the bad news first and stop wasting time.

My question to the guy who starts a sentence with the phrase “you know I love you,” will be: what did you do? If you love me, I will know without you saying it. But make no mistake, I like hearing it but not in that way when nine times out of ten, I know what follows such refrain wouldn’t be a gift I was eyeing. Guys, maybe you’re still shaking your heads about why the phrase give girls a pause but let me ask you what goes through your mind when your girl says: “We need to talk.” I rest my case.

I don’t get when there is any form of abuse in a relationship – physical, emotional, or mental. That goes for both sides. Yes, the majority of abuse is from the guy inflicting a type of abuse on a girl – one in four women in the U.S are subjected to some form of domestic violence.

But the reversal of such also happens but often unreported. In that sense, I’m an equal opportunity kind of girl. A few years ago, a lady friend of a friend spent a night in jail for attacking her husband. My friend was shocked when I said she needed to spend the night in jail for what she did. My friend felt her husband shouldn’t have called the police. I was totally against such theory and it brought about a great discussion. I’m not sure if she entirely bought my side of the story but it was a start to see fair is fair regardless of the gender.

I don’t get when anyone stays in an abusive relationship. An accustomed lifestyle is not worth the emotional trauma or your life.

I don’t get the “stand by your man” concept. Seriously, Tammy Wynette will live in infamy for that song. If you’ve live long enough, at least for the last 20 years and have a television, you’ve seen the parade of women standing by their public figures and philandering husbands. Oh the list is so long of these men but let’s give it a shot: Democratic Presidential hopeful Gary Hart, TV Evangelist Jim Bakker, former New Jersey Governor Jim McGreevy, former New York Governor Eliot Spitzer, and soon to be former Mayor of Detroit, Kwame Kilpatrick. I’ve often asked myself the question: what if the roles were reversed, would the man stand by his woman? I doubt it; she’ll literally be a scarlet woman.

I don’t get the obsessive use of texting and all forms of digital device in place of live communication either by phone or face-to-face. I’m all for the next great gadget but when I’m in a relationship with you, those gadgets are supplementary NOT the main communication device(s). For example, when you’re stuck in a boring meeting or know I will be stuck in one; sending a text is cute and sweet. But when you really want to take the relationship to the next level, you better UNPLUG. And if you don’t, start counting the days when I unplug all forms of communications from you.

I don’t get when a guy over 15 has no clue on how to break up. It’s called etiquette. Someone needs to give a book (scratch that when it comes to some guys) or a speech what not to do when you are about to break up. I mentioned last month of being a fan of Sex and The City, and fans of the show will remember a memorable episode of Jack Burger breaking up with Carrie on a post-it note. Guys, don’t ever do that! Don’t break-up with her over an e-mail; how about if she forwards such emails to cybersphere for folks to see what a jerk you were. And please don’t do it over text a la Britney with Kevin Federline (and they were married). It is just tacky.

Tag: Relationships