Saturday, May 16, 2009

Women Sizing Other Women

Another thing on my mind: It's about the fairer sex, my counterparts - WOMEN. I was rushing into my office building a couple of days ago and there must have been some meetings and conference sessions going on because some folks were coming out all dressed to the professionial "nines" and they weren't familiar faces I see everyday.

Anyway, as I got closer to the double doors one particular woman, standing close to the doorway old enough to be an Aunt looked at me up and down, up and down as I took my long strides towards the building. I wondered what I did to this woman but I wasn't shocked - it wasn't the first time and as I live, it wouldn't be the last.

I've seen it and I've heard other lady friends complain to me about it in the professional and personal world. Some of these women are so insecure, that another woman who just happens to look good is seen as a threat. Pardon me for not looking dowdy to make you feel good about yourself. Pardon me for having enough self-confidence that is not based on how I look but being Who's I am and the experiences that have shaped me not to walk with my head down so you'll feel superior.

It is ridiculous. I'll give guys this: You never see a guy eye another new kid on the block and wonder "what's wrong with him looking all GQ?" They will ask in a minute (especially if the guy is getting some play from the ladies) where he shops or for some help with their wardrobe.

Not so with most women. And I say "most" because not all women are always hating. In the same week (last Sunday to be exact), I walked into a gas station I've visited a few times to fill my tank and get some beverage. After I paid, the lady attendant wanted to know if I was in her words: "from around here." I asked why she asked. She said, "I've been thinking from the times you've walked in, she must be from New York or some place." I laughed and told her it wasn't the first time I heard that even though I've been living in South Florida over 10 years. Then she asked "are you a Model?"I really laughed at that and told her I hate cameras or having my picture taken. There was no guile in her observation but she just offer a sincere compliment about my style and I thanked her. Now is that so hard.

I do the same with other women. I think envy or jealousy is really draining. And if you're secure in who you are, another person's beauty, style, accomplishment, man, children, stuff wouldn't make you less of who you are. All the aforementioned is not limited to a few people. Hel-lo, beauty is truly in the eye of beholder. And women should stop having the crab mentality to pull other women down so all of them don't get ahead because they failed to see the value in each of their own lives.