Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Stop Picking On Miami

I'm calling a time-out on all these surveys especially from people who don't live in the city. My beef today has to do with today's news that Miami is the fattest city in the country. GIVE ME A BREAK! Of all times when folks (present company excluded) are trying to fulfil their New Year's Resolution (for the upteenth time) of losing weight, then you put a wet blanket on the said goal of showing how "fat" they really are.

Let me just say for the past five years this city has been placed on many infamous lists in the country:

  • Rudest Drivers (for two consecutive years): Well I won't disagree with the theory. When we got the dubious honor, I believed many saluted with their middle fingers as they made their drive yet again in the hellish I-95. Besides, the way I normally find my patience is visiting another country. For six months after my travels, my patience could be that of Job - it makes me realize we don't have it that bad in South Florida.

  • Rep. Tom Tancredo Likened Us To A Third World Country: And he said he was afraid for his life during the Republican Primaries after the stupid comment to come to Miami. Hmmm. Anyway, Miami Herald's Pulitzer-Prize Writers: Dave Barry and Leonard Pitts gave him a serious tongue lashing with their pens (or keystrokes). I don't think I need to waste my time.

  • Most Attractive People: This honor was in 2007 and I must say I concur. But we don't stop being attractive after 2007 nor were we not attractive before the so-called year. And another thing, I wonder how the people of Philadelphia felt being called the least attractive the same year.

  • Least Intelligent People: This was also in 2007 and it makes me feel about the notion that if you're attractive you can't be smart. Who are these poll takers? Let me remind you that the biggest book fair around the world takes place in Miami every November. And it takes a great deal of patience during that week to find places to park, buy books or get into the seminars. That will not happen if the people are not intellectually curious.
  • Worst Sports Fans: An honor placed on us last year and to that we say WHATEVER! Pardon us for stressing WINNING! There are many attractions in the city that could hold our attention besides sports. This ain't Wyoming! So yes we put pressure on our athletes. You win, WE WILL COME. You CONTINUALLY LOSE, we go to South Beach, Las Olas or City Walk.

And now today, it becomes the fattest city because we have three times the regular fast food chain and longer commutes. PUH-LEAZE! Have you been here? We also have many who take care of their bodies whether holistically or surgically (why don't you put that as Number 1). Other than Brazil, this is the bikini capital of the world. You think they get those bodies by being fat. Let the locales criticize! Like how clothing seems optional around here. We know our city better and not some snowbird (tourist) who visits for a few weeks in the year.

Tag: Fattest City in America, Miami