Friday, September 12, 2008

What A Week

TGIF!!! Here we go for a rundown of things I've been itching to get to this week:

Lance Armstrong Comes Out of Retirement: I've said it over and over again; I'm not surprised when any of these male athletes come out of retirement. A couple of months ago, we were subjected to the Brett Favre fiasco after three months of a tearful "goodbye." The latest culprit is the guy in the yellow uniform, Lance Armstrong.

Armstrong's excuse for coming out of retirement after three years to "raise global awareness for cancer." Yeah right and I was born yesterday! So what was all the gazellion "livestrong" bracelets all about? He went on to give examples of Olympic Swimmer Dara Torres who made a mind-boggling comeback at the age of 41 to win silvers when asked about the concern for his age. Well there lies the answer among others.

There are reports out there that Armstrong wants to win his eight Tour De France after seeing all the hoopla surrounding Michael Phelps with his eight golds. Here's what I don't understand: With all the notoriety Armstrong got from the bike, his work with cancer research not to talk of being a hot shot among Hollywood it ladies, he's still got something to prove because nothing feels like the high of crowd's adulation like "winning."

Yes I put "winning" in quotation because there is more to such feat than sports. This is the guy who beat cancer and went on to win multiple races afterwards but it's STILL not enough. This is a favor I ask of all these male athletes who call for retirements and non-retirements,I chanel my inner Bill Maher and call for "new rules." New Rules Male Athletes: When you want a retirement, just say you're tired and taking some time off. And when you decide to come back, we won't call it a "comeback!"

Pigsty Politics: Did you catch the trainwreck of TV about "lipstick on a pig?" OMG! I can't believe politics have resorted to this pigsty. The weirdest thing about the John McCain camp is McCain has used such phrase a number of times especially when he was criticizing Hillary Clinton's health care plan. Nobody from her camp said anything about McCain calling her a pig.

Even there's a book entitled "lipstick on a pig" by Torie Clarke, a Republican strategist and did I mention "Torie" is a woman. So how in the world can Barack Obama while talking about McCain's economic policy (or lack thereof) and say just because you put lipstick on a pig, doesn't make it any different; it's still a pig to twist it that he was talking about Sarah Palin?

You know my Dad once told me as a kid when I got into a few heated disputes with some knuckleheads that "it's not what someone calls you, it's what you answer to." Now as an adult, I don't agree with all the premise of such riddle but I get the point. So to the McCain camp: If Palin isn't a pig, don't "oink."

Party of Animals: Sticking with animals, I want to set some new rules: I'm tired of all the animal references in this election season. So can we refrain or just cut back on the pigs, pork (for excessive spending), pitbull (for someone who's tenacious), moose (I really don't care how you hunt them), fish (mostly for corruption references), etc. I think the English language is expansive enough to describe your point.

Sarah Palin Finally Talks With The Media: So the "hockey mom" from Alaska finally did her first sit down interview with the Mainstream Media (MSM) and Charlie Gibson scored the honors. I like Charlie but watching that interview last night, I've got to say gosh I REALLY MISS TIM RUSSERT! Even one of my Aunts called me last night about the interview and lamented why "a gift was taken from us."

I.N.N (Ignorant Negro News): It's been a while since I covered some I.N.N. This week's honor goes to the NFL's Chad Johnson and Kanye West. Let's start with Chad Johnson. I'm sorry, Chad Ocho Cinco since he legally changed his lastname to "Ocho Cinco." Football fans know this was Johnson's self-given "nickname" in ode to his jersey number 85. It was cute at first and he definitely got more hype (if that was possible) out of referring himself as "Ocho Cinco."

So for the start of this football season, he legally changed the name because he wanted the new name to be at the back of his jersey. Well, that's the problem. He didn't read the terms of his contract. Now for his new name to be changed on his jersey, he will have to pay Reebok and/or the NFL over $4 million to reprint all the jersies with his former name "Chad Johnson."

Next I.N.N goes to Kanye West for causing an altercation with paparazzi yesterday at the airport on of all days, September 11th. Yes those paps could be a nuisance but on 9/11? When security is more heightened? Ignorant!

In rememberance of 9/11: We will never forget! And prayers to the families of the victims.

Hurricane Ike: Ok folks in Galveston, Houston, this is a PSA. GET OUT OF THERE! If you don't know much about history. You should know this week marks the 108th anniversary of the deadliest hurricane (worse than Katrina) that befell Galveston. You do well to take heed of your officials and evacuate.

Tags: Sarah Palin, Lance Armstrong, Lipstick on a pig, Kanye West, Chad Johnson, Ocho Cinco, Hurricane Ike